‘Occupy Wall Street’ meet ‘Occupy Broad Street’. Without question, it was only a matter of time.
This is Greendale. We are the 99 percent. Actually, upon further review, it turns out 100% of us are the 99%.
(There are lies, damn lies and statistics.)
Greendale, as you know, is huge on Social Causes. We are a Community of Aunt Bees without Sheriff Taylor to keep us in check.
Example: Our reported voter turnout makes Kim Jong-il blush. Last election? Voter turnout of 103%! In your face, North Korea!
Our Official Village Song is the Doobie Brothers “Takin’ It to the Streets” – although we change those words “living hell” to “living heck.” We are not animals, after all. However, we ain't blind and we don’t like what we think we see.
Here inside the bubble, we know it is time. It is time to Occupy Greendale.
Checking the Community Calendar (http://www.greendale.org/Community/Calendar/Calendar.html) you can see this is no Lower Manhattan picnic in the park. We are more organized than that. Yes, the “Line up” – as Johnny Law might call it - starts at 2:30 pm this Sunday.
Yes, Greendale, on Sunday October 30th, we own Broad Street.
Let’s gather at the Brinkman Field end of Broad Street. This will be a media event, so be sure to wear a colorful outfit. Heck, go with a costume. Make it a scary one. We will show those demons who’s boss. Take that, you 1%.
After a good rally - including some moving speeches from Moms imploring “you children be safe,” and “save me a Snickers bar” - the ‘Peoples Parade’ starts at 3:00. Slap up some barricades, Boys in Blue, and step back.
Today, we own Broad Street.
Try not to look too organized. Stay in costume. Let your children participate. After all, we all signed the petition declaring our belief that the children are the future. Teach them well and let them lead the way.
This should just flow. It is not a trick. In fact, it is more “treat” than “trick.” If you do not believe me, just ask anyone you see, “Trick… or treat?”
There is nothing wrong with getting your pets involved in this haunted spectacle. Dogs especially like wearing costumes.
However, do refrain from dressing Fido as a Fire Hydrant. Nine out 10 dogs agree the Fire Hydrant costume is both confusing and mean-spirited. Only Rottweilers find this funny. Of course, Rottweilers' fondness for ironic humor is well documented.
And this does not end at the Village Hall, my fellow Greendaler. No, sir. This is just the beginning. This is Sunday. This is our day.
Here is the plan: Divide and Conquer.
In full costume, dragging ridiculously large bags, we are going to get what should already be ours. Do it. Don’t look back, Children of the Streets. Occupy Greendale!!!
Starting at 4:00, we will hit every house – Original and Unoriginal – demanding compensation.
We have been denied the Babe Ruth far too long. Licorice me – and no one gets hurt. Give me the Sweet Tart, sweetheart. We have been eating far too many apple slices… It is Trick or Treat Time, Baby!
Do this until 7:00. Then go do your homework.