Hey Joe Popular, there is a reason your answering machine has 103 messages. While way overdue, you have been finally recognized as the coolest person on earth.
That, or like the rest of us, you are just be buried alive with robo-calls from R.W.A. — Republicans With Attitude.
The election season is, once again, upon us. I, for one, am ready. I have my special voting pencil sharpened, my Mitt Santorum t-shirt freshly pressed and my extra ballots stuffed in my pocket. Next Tuesday we Rock the Election.
April 3rd is Election Day, but it is not Recall Election Day. They are saving that ‘fun’ until May and June. That is just fine. We can wait. Unless some office-holder has committed high acts of treason, recall elections are a waste of time and money.
Here is a thought: If an existing office holder does something to raise your ire, help the jerk’s opponent in the next election. Time passes by fast enough. We do not have to create extra elections. What is the point?
(The goal of this column? To get 1,000,000 petition signers upset with me. I best stay clear of the teacher’s lounge.)
Quick Review: Governor Scott Walker is being recalled. Why? Because, as Governor, he did something he promised he would do during his campaign in the time period he promised to do it in.
Listen, I will come clean right here: I did not vote for Walker during the last real election. While this was based solely on my bias against men with bedroom eyes, I was not a Walker Supporter. Until now…
Why are we recalling a guy who – like him or not – is honest and lived up to his campaign promise?
Enough people agreed with his platform. Droopy Eyes did get elected and it was not that close.
Hey - that son of a gun Walker killed my favorite public spend – trains. But he never promised he would not. In fact, he personally called my cell. “Mike, I am killing the trains. Too bad, so sad.” Sure, it was little personal and a tad childish, but he was honest. And he sent all that train money back to Washington DC before he found a parking spot on State Street.
Really peeps, do we not have bigger fish to fry? Do we not have better things to do in Wisconsin than recall office-holders - even those with those hideous tired eyes? If we are going to do some recalling, let’s go after the Big Fish. I have two examples of ‘bigger fish:’
Example 1: Let’s recall the entire position of Lieutenant Governor.
No one can possibly recall what a Lieutenant Governor actually is. It sounds like a position at the Moose Lodge you give to Frank after dementia sets in. This is not a slam on Rebecca Kleefisch. She is bright, articulate and rather hot. She is way over-qualified.
It is just that if this position of Lieutenant Governor was quietly eliminated tomorrow, no one would ever notice.
Example 2: Let’s recall the State Bird.
I have had it with you, robins. You, with your fancy orange chest, you are so on my recall List. Why do I hate the State Bird? Here is some background: I drive a black car. Robins seek out black cars. It is a sport with them – how many black cars they can hit in a day. And the idiots hit the same car, over and over again. How is that within the rules? Piling on, ref – they are piling on!
The Latin name for the Robin? “Turdus migratorius” – I am not making this up. Check Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Robin
As it has been over 600 words, you may not recall the point of this column:
Tuesday is Election Day. Vote early and vote often. It is how we roll here Inside the Bubble.