I'll Give It To You Straight - Prohibiting Gay Marriage In A Free Country Sure Seems Queer To Me

If we want to assure our place on the right side of history we need to start living up to our own sacred belief that, "All men are created equal."


Maybe it is the fact that homosexuality in my fine family lineage can be traced way back to Caesar Galba, who proudly rolled around ancient Rome in a chariot displaying a rainbow bumper sticker...

Maybe it is because I have spent half my life closely huddled next to other sweaty guys wearing spandex uniforms, playing with balls on perfectly manicured (baseball) diamonds, or slapping someone's ass to show my appreciation for their athletic prowess...

Or it could be the fact that on Sundays, the only day I have off, I allow my daughter to paint colorful smiley faces on my toenails while I am half asleep and reading the morning paper . . .

. . . Whatever it is, despite the fact that I am a happily-married heterosexual man homosexuality doesn't seem to bother me. And for some reason I don't think that my marriage to the most beautiful woman I have ever met would be threatened by a gay couple taking that same sacred vow. In fact, if a gay couple wants to openly declare their love and dedication for each other by entering into a legal and public marriage, their vow only strengthens my marriage because it enforces the idea that "marriage" is the coupling of two human souls in love, whether they be a man and a woman, two women or two men.

Call me nieve, but what other adults do in the privacy of their own relationship and bedroom has virtually no effect on my relationship with my wife. If two gay men moved in next door and got married, their marriage would not all of a sudden (or ever) diminish the meaning of my marriage.

If you think that allowing gays the right to marry somehow threatens the sanctity of your marriage, then you probably need to take a very close look at your own marriage.

Personally, I would rather acknowledge the marriage between two gay men who love each other than acknowledge the "marriage" of a straight couple who loathe each other but stay married because of the children, or the wife who stays married to an abusive husband because the church says divorce is a sin.

The opponents of gay marriage also claim that homosexual relationships don't last as long as heterosexual relationships, claiming that gays are more likely to commit adultery or enter into "open" relationships. But the facts just don't seem to back those claims:  

Fifty percent of all first (heterosexual) marriages end in divorce in America. Sixty seven percent of all second marriages and 74 percent of all third marriages end in divorce, thus increasing the likely-hood of unhappiness according to the Forest Institute of Professional Psychology in Springfield, Missouri.

In states that recognize or perform gay marriages, the number of divorces in 2009 (last year with full records) was 41.2 percent of the number of marriages. In the 36 other states that deny gay marriage, the divorce rate was 50.3 percent.

Gay people who marry just don't seem to threaten my marriage. "Straight" people like Newt Gingrich, who change wives like they do underwear does however threaten the sanctity of marriage.

There is also the simple fact that denying homesexuals the right to marry in a supposedly "free" country is down right hypocritical.

We invade sovereign nations to protect the rights of their minorities, but we make laws in our very own country to deny rights to ours. We teach our children about the evils of the holocaust in which millions of Jews and gays were put to death, but we allow "preachers" in America to call for the killing of homosexuals in the land of the free. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2n7vSPwhSU

In the classroom we have our children memorize the Declaration of Independence that states, "We hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal..." but then on Sundays we make them read a passage out of the bible that says, "If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death..." but ignore the laws of Leviticus that state, "For every one that curseth his father or his mother shall be surely put to death." Leviticus 20:9. Or Leviticus 20:10 which states, "And the man that committeth adultery with another man's wife, even he that committeth adultery with his neighbour's wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death."

If you want to take a literal interpretation of the bible then you must also make it punishable my death to swear at mom and dad, to cohabitate outside of marriage, and to have an affair. Laws like that will never pass in a civilized society, but laws prohibiting gay marriage do?

And now let's take a look at what Jesus said in the bible about homosexuals:






keep going...






keep going...






keep going...






a little more...






That's right - Jesus didn't say a damn thing about gays in the bible. But what Jesus did say is, "Treat others as you want them to treat you."

Now, if you are willing to treat people with respect as long as they never come out with their homosexuality then you are forcing them to pretend to be someone they are not for their entire life. What happens when you repress sexual feelings for decades? The Catholic church is finding that out right now the hard way (no pun intended)...

While the Vatican forces the resignation of heterosexual priests who want the company of a woman, they cover up the abuse of gay pedophile priests and ship them from congregation to congregation, keeping sexual predators in the church.

The Catholic church and other "Christian" organizations are trying to push legislation which calls a six day old fetus a "citizen with full rights" but are willing to flush those rights down the toilet if that fetus grows up to be gay.

It seems that the Vatican and the Pope should clean up their own mess before sticking their nose into other people's private affairs. Like Gandhi once said, "I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. They are so unlike your Christ."

I know that certain right-wingers who read this will make "jokes" about me being a closeted homosexual, but let me assure you - I am a full-blooded heterosexual man. I drive fast, play a loud guitar, lift heavy objects, talk with my mouth full, scratch myself indiscriminately, can burp the alphabet, and I buy the Sports Illustrated issue and don't read the articles and I have a fascination with Clint Eastwood movies.

I'm also married to a beautiful woman - And together we have two children in which we want to pass down not only the ability to throw a baseball, but the willingness to accept others for who they truly are and an attitude of tolerance and respect for all people.

Those who push or support anti-gay marriage laws in a free country like America will be judged harshly by history. It's time we get on the right side of history and finally live up to the phrase, "All men are created equal."

This post is contributed by a community member. The views expressed in this blog are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Patch Media Corporation. Everyone is welcome to submit a post to Patch. If you'd like to post a blog, go here to get started.

mau July 06, 2012 at 05:55 PM
@Lyle, you're getting too technical. I had a lot of homosexual friends and co-workers in the 70's. None were in the closet. All were openly and actively practicing their sexuality. We all socialized together with no problem. Had long discussions about our beliefs without any arguments, name calling or any hate. One of them took me on a personal tour of all the bars on Plankinton and 2nd street. Quite an eye opening experience I must say. Did I hold their beliefs against them NO. Did they hold my beliefs against me NO. As time went on some of them got radical, we took different life paths and our friendships ended. Why is it that homosexuals forcing their lifestyle on society is ok, but Christians doing the same thing is not. I don't believe either side should be flaunting their sexuality and I don't want to hear about or see their sexual activities.
Lyle Ruble July 06, 2012 at 06:13 PM
@J.B. Schmidt...This is the problem when using religion to justify behavior and action. There are as many interpretations as there are people. That is why I am always suspect when someone calls on scripture as authority. In Judaism, most of us don't read the bible literally and look to alternative interpretations. That's one of the reasons that Jews stay aware from single dogma and doctrines. I know that a number of the apostles were married. From my reading I don't remember that Paul was, but he could have been since he was an observant Jew prior to his conversion.
Lyle Ruble July 06, 2012 at 06:32 PM
@mau...I don't think that anyone is justified to argue the New Testament to attempt to prove that it's incorrect. For people who accept it as their book, it is meaningful to them. To use it as justification for actions against others is wrong. It's like people telling me, as a Jew, what my bible really means. We can't even agree on that between us and to have others dictate to us what it means, is just plain ridiculous. I must say that I have studied many of the books and documents that you mentioned, but it has not been to prove or disprove anything. It is for knowledge and to gain an understanding of the foundation of other people's belief systems. Critical thinking is the means to uncover truth and knowledge. Too many people are either incapable or haven't the desire to approach learning through critical thinking.
mau July 06, 2012 at 08:22 PM
Being raised in the Catholic Church, our priest did not speak from the Bible. He spoke from their prayer book which was selective passages. I have not studied the Bible in depth. My greatest interest was Revelations as it seemed they did not preach about it in depth. I also was very interested in Genesis and the fact that there are 2 stories of creation. Also if I heard something that peaked my interest I would get out the Strong's Concordance and the Bible and read about it. I was also curious about Angels because as an adult what I learned about Angels is that they are not these cute cuddly friends like I was taught as a child. I also studied some of the Ancient religions as they are practiced today. But all this was pretty much 20-30 years ago and my memory of the details are gone. But I gathered enough knowledge that I will never belong to any organized religion again. I don't care what religion if any a person practices. If I like someone I like them for themselves and that is it. I may be outspoken and critical of one's beliefs and practices but that does not stand in the way of a friendship.
$$andSense July 07, 2012 at 02:57 AM
What Hoffa? Do you have any idea what you posted? Non-humans and trees as a turn on? Nice try at a topic deflection. Damn, I hit a nerve root home run with you. This is definitely going into the "save for later" file. Your springs are wound way too tight. Have fun with the trees and whatever turns you on (please leave your cat alone). There is your compliment "da man". Yuck! But thanks for staying away from the name calling. auf Wiedersehen!
The Anti-Alinsky July 07, 2012 at 04:13 AM
@$$andNonsense, That post made no sense at all!
Joe Kucak July 07, 2012 at 04:32 AM
Jason, "Baby, you're a firework". Thanks for opening up the minds and hopefully the hearts of your readers.
James R Hoffa July 07, 2012 at 06:07 AM
@$$andSense - Of course I know what I posted - do you think that Hoffa is stupid? As The Anti-Alinsky pointed out, your initial slam against me made little to no sense at all, and given the topic of conversation my completely emphatic response seemed wholly appropriate. But you're right, I shouldn't have used your personal lifestyle choices as comedy relief. BTW - Please stay away from my oak tree, as it's very old and fragile ;-)
$$andSense July 09, 2012 at 11:01 PM
Something tells me that "paraphiliac dendrophiliac" are words you learned on your arrest warrant when the DA charged you with both. It is now obvious you have something for trees with the oak tree comment. Do you really want an answer to the "do you think that Hoffa is stupid?” Uh, using a union gangster name and claiming to be anti-union? Really? "I shouldn't have used your personal lifestyle choices as comedy relief." I see. Judeo-Christian child rearing principles isn't your thing but comedy relief. Really? Stay with the oak tree. And BTW, you left Saul in the dust with your "paraphiliac dendrophiliac" comment because the statement "That post made no sense at all!" left them hanging. Care to educate the 70+ hour a week cubicle rat Saul what it means? Keep your buddies informed Hoffa! :)
The Donny Show July 10, 2012 at 03:22 PM
Jason said we are free. There are people that want to marry multiple spouses. Why do we not allow this?
CowDung July 10, 2012 at 03:27 PM
That's a good question--why don't we (as a society) allow multiple spouses? As long as they are all consenting adults, I don't see why it needs to be illegal.
The Donny Show July 10, 2012 at 03:40 PM
That is my ENTIRE point. If we are FREE like Jason suggets why have limits? Why not allow many different sorts of marriages? Who are we to say who can and cannot marry if all parties are consenting?
mau July 10, 2012 at 03:59 PM
It is already allowed and in fact honored and promoted. There are certain segments of our society, in particular professional athletes and entertainers, who have multiple children by multiple women. Some through marriages but way too many not. Society castigates Mormon's or others who practice polygamy. But they accept and idolize others who are actually practicing the same life style.
James R Hoffa July 10, 2012 at 05:22 PM
Why must the government recognize something as being valid before it has meaning to an individual?
Luke July 10, 2012 at 11:20 PM
Lyle Ruble, Are you in favor of allowing gay men to marry their brothers, or gay women to marry their sisters? For that matter, should brothers or sisters be allowed to marry? Should parents be allowed to marry their children? I'm trying to figure out what you mean when you say that marriage is merely a contract.
Lyle Ruble July 11, 2012 at 12:14 AM
@Luke...Incest is not allowed for a number of reasons. Parents marrying children, siblings marrying each other are all forbidden. When I say that marriage is merely a contract, that is precisely what it is. Ask any attorney. Since it is a civil contract it must be registered by the governing authority to be considered in force.
Luke July 11, 2012 at 01:56 AM
Lyle, You say that incest is forbidden. So is same-sex marriage. Again, why would you prohibit same-sex siblings from getting married? (After you aswer that, I want to ask you about the other issues I brought up.)
doris July 11, 2012 at 02:12 AM
Funny how the gay marriage nuts want to discriminate against the polyandrists,polygamists, incest and beastiatily folks, what about their rights?
Jaime Sommers July 11, 2012 at 02:14 AM
Who cares who marries who? It affects no one other than those IN the relationship and everyone else needs to get out of others' bedrooms. Pro Gay Marriage, Pro Equality and Pro Keep Your Nose and Bibles out of other people's faces, lives and bedrooms. The Bible is not equal to God. That is a narrow minded view that does not hold water and removes credibility in this type of conversation. Agreed that marriage is a legal contract, a business agreement, not a sacrament. Sentinemtalism does not make something sacred. A few people get more than a business agreement and enjoy it. Good for them!
Luke July 11, 2012 at 02:25 AM
Lyle, One more thing....As you say, marriage is a contract. It is a socially-engineered contract. It is not a "mere" contract.
Lyle Ruble July 11, 2012 at 02:28 AM
@Luke...Incest carries severe consequences with any resulting offspring. It weakens the species and ancient man discovered this. Thus the prohibition with incest. As far as same sex marriages, that is an entirely different matter. No children are involved.
Luke July 11, 2012 at 02:36 AM
Lyle, So it isn't incest when two same-sex siblings are involved? So what's wrong with brothers and sisters marrying other than the fact that they might have children? After all, there is birth control available. Also, the fetus is not a human until after it is on this side of the birth canal. If marriage is merely a contract, why are you so uptight about family members having that mere contract?
Lyle Ruble July 11, 2012 at 02:37 AM
@Luke...Marriage is nothing more than a civil contract. Of course it's socially engineered as a function of a society.
Luke July 11, 2012 at 02:40 AM
Lyle, I'm glad you agree that it is a contract. It is not a "mere" contract. Now let's get back to the questions I brought up. Why can't parents marry their kids, and why are you getting involved in how a fetus comes about in the privacy of their own homes?
Brian Carlson July 11, 2012 at 03:15 AM
Doris, Comparing people who practice beastiality to gays... is incredibly obtuse and insulting. You are throwing radical perversions in with all gays..... I dont know about polygamists...assuming you are talking about consenting adults...but the other comparison is really off the mark. Why not throw in necromancers? Its would be silly if it wasnt so insulting.
Brian Carlson July 11, 2012 at 03:17 AM
Doris.... adding to this, many heterosexuals with severe problems get married. Many are violently abusive. Gays have no more or less problems than do heterosexuals...apart from that generated by homophobia and ignorance.
doris July 11, 2012 at 03:27 AM
necromancers? I think you mean necrophiliacs, and yes, what about their rights?
doris July 11, 2012 at 03:28 AM
Sodomy, beastiality, incest, all deviant sexual behavior, yes they can be thrown into the same bucket of perversion.
doris July 11, 2012 at 03:29 AM
Not to mention Ephebophilia Brian, defend that.++
Luke July 11, 2012 at 10:23 PM
Lyle, I'm still waiting for you to tell me why parents can't marry their own kids and why you would want to control how a fetus comes about. I believe that your objection reveals the flaw in your logic, and shows why the original intent of marriage law is the only one that makes sense.


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