Part 1: Loss of a Wife and Mother Inspires Family to Walk

Before she got sick, Lilac Lane’s Carol Schneider was an active, proud and vocal member of the Greendale community since 1968, happily taught MPS students for 32 years and made all around her laugh with her intoxicating sense of humor. But in October of 2005 Carol was diagnosed with a brain tumor, underwent surgery just days later, endured several weeks of radiation treatment and died a short five months later on St. Patrick’s Day of 2006.

Carol’s husband of 41 years, Steve, cherishes the memories of his vibrant wife who, to be sure, “made life interesting,” and talked about the impact her sudden fatal illness had on the patient and family.

“Carol was a fun person to be around and just wanted to make people laugh,” Schneider said. “She never wanted to retire from teaching or get old, so maybe that’s a blessing because she worked right up to the end. She loved her job. She loved the kids. The radiation treatments affected her immune system and when she got pneumonia she couldn’t fight it. The toughest part was seeing her personality change and knowing there was no hope. She became angry, depressed and violent and said she just wanted to die. Pneumonia, though, is known as a dying person’s friend because the medication did keep her comfortable toward the end.”

Today, Steve and Carol’s two sons, Rob ( math teacher) and Tom, with their wives, Chris and Allison, encourage the six grandchildren to celebrate the life of “Angel Grandma” and to keep her memory and legacy alive.

Much of the family will take part again in the 2nd annual “Greendale Community Charity Walk” on Saturday, June 18, to help raise awareness, honor their grandmother and raise funds for the American Brain Tumor Association and “Step Up to Health” initiatives in the village.

The event on June 18 is sponsored by the and grew out of the knowledge that many local families have been impacted by brain tumors. Nationally, an estimated 64,530 new cases of primary brain tumors are expected to be diagnosed in the United States in 2011, and while no specific research has been documented yet for Greendale alone, a perception exists that the numbers here are excessive.

Village Nurse Cris Reischl can’t say whether there is an undue predominance of brain tumors in Greendale or not, but understands residents’ concerns and is seeking further study on the issue.

“We’re not sure whether it’s prevalent or not here but we’re pursuing it and trying to get someone to look at it,” she said. “We’ve drafted a letter to the new School of Public Health at UWM and have asked that they do some research for us. Many residents have called to find out if we’re aware of the concern and looking at it, and we are.”

Ten days after Carol died, Steve Schneider decided he needed to try and do something to counter the “devastating” impact of the loss of his wife, and showed up for an eight-week course at St. Luke’s Hospital called “Grieving the Loss of a Partner.”  He wanted badly to show his two sons he wasn’t going to be a recluse or a burden to them. At the first class, Steve was the only male among 15 women in the room and sat near the door, “ready to bolt,” if he had to. But he not only stayed for that entire session but is now a volunteer facilitator himself and working with others in the same situation.

“You must be able to lean on other people,” Schneider said. “The biggest help I received was from the support group. You have to be open to life. I knew it was too early, but I needed to do it. You never get over the grief, but it becomes less intense. Life can be good again. Time alone won’t heal—it’s what you do with your time. When you help someone else, you help yourself.”

***This is the first of part of  a series of articles about people who had brain cancer or have lost someone to the illness. Saturday will be the 2nd annual “Greendale Community Charity Walk” to help raise awareness for brain cancer.